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Marriage

Lists to Love By

New Year, Renewed Marriage: Follow These Simple Steps

People are usually a little surprised when we tell them the story in the video below. You see, our marriage didn’t have the most promising start. Our hearts were in the right place, but our personalities were on a crash course that was bound to implode our marriage. There were so many things we struggled through. We had to learn how to communicate, how to meet each other’s needs, and how to handle conflict. Of course, we still have conflict, but after 28 years we have figured out some great ways to love well. We want you to know what we have learned. Learn from us. We want you to struggle less than we did and love more. We took what helped us and put it in our Lists to Love By, Simple Steps to the Marriage You Want books. Each book, one for wives and one for husbands, features 30 short lists with simple steps you can take to have a better marriage or maybe even the marriage you’ve always wanted but never had. Are you struggling with other issues, such as conflict, in your marriage? Mark and I struggle with that as well. Here are 4 Simple Steps …

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Marriage

4 Things to Do When Your Spouse Is Feeling Down {Podcast}

Mark has been dealing with back pain for the past few months. It’s getting better, but there are still days he doesn’t feel 100 percent. For someone as on-the-go as Mark, this experience has, at times, caused him to get discouraged. I’ve tried to be there for Mark, to encourage him and let him know I understand what he’s dealing with. It’s not always easy, but it’s part of being a supportive spouse. Mark has been there for me when I’ve gone through down times; now it’s my turn to be there for him. In this podcast, Mark and I share 4 Things to Do When Your Spouse is Feeling Down. Empathize. When someone shows you empathy you immediately feel that you’re not alone. It’s more powerful than offering a solution because it shows you understand. Do your best to show empathy every day for as long as your husband needs your support. If you don’t, he’ll feel like you’re getting frustrated with him. Thank him for being transparent. When your husband reaches out to you or shares what’s bringing him down, say something like this: “I’m so glad you told me. I could tell you were down.” Encourage him …

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Marriage

The Wedding Trumped the Blog

Confession: I have been MIA and haven’t blogged in months, but for good reason! The wedding trumped the blog. In my memory it actually trumped everything. Are there ever times in your life when several things are happening all at once? And somehow, in the midst of it all, you get the distinct feeling God is trying to tell you something, but you’re not sure what He is saying? My year, in summary, goes like this: moved 2 children, Mark ruptured 3 discs in one move and hasn’t fully recovered after 5 months, turned over 3 employees on my team at work (these girls need to stop having babies–kidding), co-authored two books with Mark to be released early 2017, AND Megan got married! The wedding planning, with everything else that happened this year, was fast and furious. It is all a total blur. And then, somehow God brought the whole wedding weekend together, and each event—the bridesmaids luncheon, rehearsal dinner, wedding, reception—was crystal clear. I say that with tears in my eyes because I truly felt like He froze time for me. I finally heard loud and clear…bask in this…this moment of joy…this blessing of Megan’s marriage. God knew I needed to …

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Marriage

For Better, For Worse

When my daughter Megan got married, I don’t know who was happier…me or Megan! The day of the wedding was rainy, which was bad since the plan was to have the ceremony outside. But all of a sudden (I think it was because of the prayers of me and my network of praying friends!) the sky cleared, and it was beautifully calm and sunny. As the ceremony progressed, birds chirped in the trees and the breeze gently blew Megan’s veil around her face. It felt like a little piece of heaven. In the middle of all of that beauty, Megan and Hampton confidently vowed to each other their lives, “for better, for worse.” Before God and the people she loves most, my daughter said these words: I take thee // To be my wedded husband My constant friend//My faithful partner// And my love from this day forward// To have and to hold//For better, for worse// For richer, for poorer//In sickness and in health// To love and to cherish//Till death do us part// I will love God and faithfully serve Him// I will love you and faithfully pursue you// In the presence of God, our family and friends// I pledge to you my faithfulness. As we …

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Marriage

Marriage Messages to My Daughter

When I got married 27 years ago, it was a bit different. I wasn’t as consumed with the to-do’s of weddings as young brides are today, but rather infatuated with the idea of becoming Mark’s wife. I longed for the ‘happily ever after‘, not necessarily the ‘happily ever before’. So, I wanted to give Megan the same experience, if I could. Leading up to her wedding, I wrote her little notes paired with a little gift every 10 days that were little encouragements as to what a wife is and the beauty of marriage in God’s eyes. Click the image below and get this beautiful PDF download for FREE! More from the Wedding: Wedding Vows: The pastor’s wedding message was so honoring to God and brought us all to tears. It was the highlight for our family and examples of vows are hard to find even online. So feel free to take inspiration from the amazing words of Pastor Denny Heiberg. The Pictures and Details: the venue, the vendors and the pictures of the day that is frozen in my memory! For Better, For Worse: Helping Megan prepare for the “better” and “worse” of marriage and how to glorify God through it all. The Wedding Trumped the …

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Marriage

Megan’s Wedding Vows

Here is an example of my daughter, Megan’s wedding vows. Pastor Denny Heiberg surpassed all of my expectations on what a wedding ceremony could look like. And as the mother of the bride you have control over a lot of the aspects of the wedding, but not the ceremony. That is totally reliant on the pastor–and you can’t control it. You have to hope that they will say something truly meaningful because it is an opportunity for him to share the love of God with everyone you love. It was amazing. Megan and I promised each other we wouldn’t cry, but his words pierced our hearts. ADDRESS TO FAMILY: The Marriage of Hampton & Megan Unites their two Families & Creates a New One! They deeply Desire and Ask for your Blessing. Do you who Represent their FAMILIES, Rejoice in their Union, and Pray God’s Blessing upon them? “WE DO!” ADDRESS TO FRIENDS: Will All of you, by God’s Grace, do Everything in your Power to Uphold/Care for Megan & Hampton in their Marriage? “WE WILL!” MEGAN & HAMPTON are You now ready to ENTER into this HOLY RELATIONSHIP, TO ACCEPT the RESPONSIBILITIES of MARRIAGE and PARENTHOOD, to be a LOVING, …

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Marriage

Wedding Details

Megan and I couldn’t have been happier with the wedding venue or our vendors. Here is a peek at the wedding details and all the amazing vendors who created this special day! The Wedding Invitations The welcome bags were left in the hotels for the guests. A friend made the bags out of fabric I found on sale. The wedding monogram of MH was created by the talented graphic designer in our office, Reed Richardson. The invitations, wedding weekend details, and program were letter pressed by A&P Designs. Bride and Maids Prep While searching for photos to display of all the family weddings I found my mothers and grandmothers dresses in a box in the attic. I grabbed the dresses and mine and through them in the car before we headed to Thomasville. I wanted a picture. My daughter Emily wrote the years on the hangers. Four generations of Brides! What can I say about sweet, talented Rachel. We have known her for years and it made getting ready that much more comfortable. Her team made the whole Bridal party look beautiful and made me look five years younger. We were all happy! If you ever need your makeup done, …

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Marriage

7 Things Wives Should Tell Their Husbands

Words of encouragement is my love language but not Mark’s. I absolutely love it when Mark compliments me. In fact, I NEED him to compliment me! Sometimes I forget, though, that he also needs affirmation from me even if it’s not his love language. We all need some level of affirmation, and there are things to tell your husband to help him feel loved. Husbands and wives both need verbal love from their spouse, and I’m working on doing a better job of letting Mark know how much I respect and appreciate him. As terrible as it sounds, I had to give it some thought as to how to make sure the affirmation I gave him packed some punch. When Mark and I were writing a “his and hers” set of books for husbands and wives, I found a blog on Mark’s site that he had written about what husbands want to hear from their wives. Scary! Do you think he was trying to give me a hint? I was afraid to ask! But I am going to take him at his word and try these 7 things wives should tell their husbands on him…we will see if he …

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Marriage

3 Ways to Practice Patience in Your Marriage

I’m sure Mark and I aren’t the only couple that sometimes struggles with impatience. At least, I hope not! Mark readily admits that patience is not one of his strengths, and I certainly have my own struggles with frustration, usually when I’m busy and over-tired (like, I admit, today). When things don’t go according to plan, your spouse doesn’t act in the way you expect, and the kids are being crazy, falling into impatience is a common response. But just because impatience is common doesn’t make it okay, especially when it means lashing out at your spouse! We had to learn how to control our impatience the hard way–years of trial and error! In this podcast, Mark and I share three key ways to fight impatience in marriage. 1. Understand what triggers impatience While there are some obvious triggers like being too busy, not having enough rest, or not feeling well, there are more subtle triggers, as well. One of the triggers in our marriage is a disconnect in our styles of communication. My husband is Mr. Wordsmith, carefully crafting his thoughts before speaking them. Meanwhile, I just blurt out whatever is on my mind, often not really thinking through my …

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Marriage

What Every Husband and Wife Must Agree On

Have you ever seen those cheesy “House Divided” bumper stickers that poke fun at a husband and wife pulling for different sports teams? I have always thought they are kind of silly, and maybe a little cute. Mark and I would never need one of those, though, because we absolutely agree on our favorite teams. Especially since we went to the same place for college! But like every other couple, we don’t agree about everything. There are preferences we have that are not identical, and that’s okay. Couples don’t share the same likes and dislikes about everything, and it doesn’t necessarily matter if one spouse is a die-hard Yankees fan and the other couldn’t care less about baseball. Of course, it is nice to have a lot in common with the person you’re spending the rest of your life with. But there are really only a few things that every husband and wife must agree on, no matter who they are or what else matters to them personally. How to Discipline Your Kids How to Handle Money Your Family’s Religion In this podcast, Mark and I address all of these critical areas. Not knowing where the other person stands or …

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