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Lists to Love By

5 posts from Susan Merrill.

Lists to Love By

Marital Differences: Asset or Liability?

Are you different from your husband? Mark and I are opposites and it can be a point of contention. I often crave the marriage compatibility I observe in other couples. If you are like us, it’s easy to feel frustrated and want your spouse to be more like you. However, that might defeat the point of two people coming together in marriage as one. Tony Evans puts it like this, “Of course you are different from your spouse. If both of you were the same, one of you would be unnecessary.” What a game changer. Instead of viewing differences as a negative, perhaps we need to open our eyes to the opportunity that differences can bring in marriage. In this video, Mark and I share just how opposite we are. In the beginning of our marriage we viewed our differences as a liability, but after twenty-seven years of marriage (and sharing every lesson we had to learn in our two new marriage books Lists to Love By for Busy Wives and Lists to Love By for Busy Husbands), we now see them as assets and laugh at them. You can learn to laugh at and celebrate your differences too. Play the newlywed game.

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Lists to Love By

Lists to Love By 30 Day Challenge

I have an awesome new marriage printable to share with you that will help make your relationship with your husband stronger and more loving. It’s the Lists to Love By 30 Day Marriage Challenge. The printable was inspired by our Lists to Love By, Simple Steps to the Marriage You Want books (there is one for wives and one for husbands). We have been so encouraged by the feedback about how the simple actions and short chapters are making it easier for couples, and men, in particular, to love better. This is a huge confirmation for us. This was what we hoped for! With Valentine’s Day approaching, we want even more for your marriage. So we have a challenge. We want you to make love a habit! Love is not just for one day a year–it’s for every day. Even if you haven’t read the books, you can still take the Lists to Love By 30 Day Marriage Challenge. Like the books, there is a challenge for husbands and a challenge for wives. And like the books, both challenges give you simple and powerful steps to take each day. It’s that easy. So, make love a habit! Download The Lists to Love By …

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Lists to Love By

Can You Read Your Spouse?

My husband can read two languages — but reading body language isn’t one of them! Mark does his best to be an attentive listener, but because he’s so focused on what I’m saying (I’ve written before about how we are completely different animals when it comes to wordsmithing), he often misses the nuanced meaning telegraphed in my facial expressions. Can you read your spouse? In our books, Lists to Love by for Busy Wives, and Lists to Love by for Busy Husbands, list 24 gives five ways to use body language to connect. As for Mark and I, we’re still working on understanding each other as this video plainly shows.

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Lists to Love By

Do You Love Your Spouse the Right Way?

Have you ever noticed that when someone from another country speaks a different language, people feel the need to speak louder? We think speaking loudly will bridge the communication gap. But it doesn’t. Their ears are working, it’s their brain that can’t understand the words. The same problem occurs when a husband and wife have different love languages. A husband loves his wife in a certain way and when it’s not appreciated he doubles his efforts. It’s like he is getting louder, thinking it will work better. He does more of the things he was doing rather than changing his method and loving his wife in the language she understands. My husband, Mark and I made this mistake for years. We were loving in different languages that just grew louder without ever being understood. You can watch the video below for our story and how to love your spouse the right way. We want you to learn from our mistake. Learn to listen and love in a way that hits the heart. Get the books Lists to Love by for Busy Wives and Lists to Love by for Busy Husbands to learn more about how you can love well. Men, do you want …

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Lists to Love By

New Year, Renewed Marriage: Follow These Simple Steps

People are usually a little surprised when we tell them the story in the video below. You see, our marriage didn’t have the most promising start. Our hearts were in the right place, but our personalities were on a crash course that was bound to implode our marriage. There were so many things we struggled through. We had to learn how to communicate, how to meet each other’s needs, and how to handle conflict. Of course, we still have conflict, but after 28 years we have figured out some great ways to love well. We want you to know what we have learned. Learn from us. We want you to struggle less than we did and love more. We took what helped us and put it in our Lists to Love By, Simple Steps to the Marriage You Want books. Each book, one for wives and one for husbands, features 30 short lists with simple steps you can take to have a better marriage or maybe even the marriage you’ve always wanted but never had. Are you struggling with other issues, such as conflict, in your marriage? Mark and I struggle with that as well. Here are 4 Simple Steps …

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