From Susan Merrill
Years of writing from Susan on faith, family, and everyday life with God.
The Bible. It’s been the #1 book sold since the day it was written, but have you read it? And if you read it, did you understand it? Heather Rubio and Susan Merrill read, discuss, and explore the only book ever written that can change your life forever. All you have to do is listen. Join us as we start our journey…in the beginning…
Read Post →Do your conversations with your daughter ever seem like a litany of corrections and instructions? Perhaps they sound like this: “Did you brush your teeth?” Please don’t provoke your brother!” “Your softball uniform is on the dryer.” With school, sports, recitals, holidays, and church programs- in our case, for five children- life can easily spin out of control. Survival became our goal because everyone in the family was moving so fast. Communication became utilitarian, and relationships were sometimes strained.
Read Post →We arrived at school, the kids got out the car, and I drove away, marveling that Megan had put into practice what we had discussed. I so badly wanted to encourage her to continue being patient with her siblings. Then my joy turned pensive. I began to worry that I would forget to praise her after school. I knew I would be distracted getting all the kids where they needed to be, finishing homework, preparing dinner…you know the drill. But I was not going to miss this opportunity to encourage her. I drove home and immediately wrote her a long note of praise and left it on her pillow. Why are indelible words on paper often more powerful than fleeting comments?
Read Post →When your children have questions about life, where do they turn for answers? Google? Alexa? Friends? Or you? Our kids have more access to information than ever before. They’ve grown up with the Internet, social media, and now Alexa and they have access all day. And they may be more comfortable or trust online advice more than they do talking to you! This realization became a reality for me when an 11-year-old girl emailed us here at iMOM. She was concerned about her parent’s marriage. She searched online and found an iMOM article, “Is This the Root Cause of Your Marriage Problems?” She thought it would help her mother and emailed us about it. She apologized that she was only 11 (but almost 12) and asked us if we would send the information to her mother.
Read Post →This past Sunday in church my pastor shared a quote that made everyone laugh, but it’s actually really, really sad. He told us that Prince Edward of England was quoted as saying, “The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children.” Ugh! Is this true? Possibly, I meet moms every day who are frustrated that they can’t get their kids to behave. Perhaps kids don’t behave because we just don’t have the time anymore to give consistent consequences. When there aren’t any consequences kids learn that no matter what they do they get away with it. They’ve figured out how to wear mom down and get what they want. In the end, mom really obeys them!
Read Post →I’m leading a small group on Genesis, so I’ve been reading a lot about the Patriarchs and, in particular, Jacob. At the end of his life, Jacob blessed each of his 12 sons, but some of the blessings weren’t what we would normally consider a blessing. He laid out things they’d done in their past, good or bad, and how the tendency to commit the same sin might make them struggle in the future. It impressed me how direct Jacob was… He wasn’t concerned about whether his kids would like him, or be mad at him, or get their feelings hurt. He spoke in love because he wanted his children to know their weaknesses and overcome them. Then I read about lawnmower parents and how they clear a path for their children so their kids can avoid struggle and don’t have to deal with their weaknesses. For example, if a lawnmower parent has a child who’s afraid to speak in front her class, the parent would tell the teacher, “My child gets anxiety when she has to give a speech, so she needs to be excused from doing it.” Lawnmower parents run ahead of their kids and clear anything out …
Read Post →I sure hope I’m not a controlling mother, but sometimes I fear that I am. I’m certainly more hands-on with my children than my mom was, and I do tend to give a lot of direction and instruction to my children. Sadly, even good, caring moms can veer into the controlling zone (think helicopter/lawnmower parent), and it’s a place that’s not healthy for us or our children. In fact, a new study found that controlling mothers are viewed more negatively by their children. So how can you be sure you’re not a controlling mother? Here are two of the things you can do to be less controlling.
Read Post →The secret to loving your children well is showing them how to live well through the choices you make. One of my girls is pregnant. It was surprising to me how many foods and medicines she has been told to avoid for the health of her baby. One of them is lunch meat. I think that is all I ate with my third pregnancy just 23 years ago! Much new research has improved what we know about protecting the health of children in the womb. But what about protecting children in the home? The cultural acceptability of daily weed, wine, and prescription pills is endemic. Have we stopped to consider that what we do, in front of our children, might be just as dangerous as what we do to our children in the womb?
Read Post →The other day, I had a friend confide in me the struggles she’s facing with her adolescent son. His temper is out of control…his grades are slipping…his relationship with his sister is far from great…and on and on. My heart broke for my friend. But it got me thinking about why some adolescents struggle so deeply and act out. That led me to one of my favorite authors on adolescence Dr. Les Parrott and the following points he noted that helped me better understand teen struggles. They’re from his book Helping the Struggling Adolescent: A Guide to Thirty-six Common Problems for Counselors, Pastors, and Youth Workers. You’ll want to be prepared for your own child’s adolescent and teen journey—whether you think he’ll struggle or not—by understanding these 5 challenges that explain why adolescents struggle.
Read Post →I am a sneaky mom. I will sometimes work quietly, without my children knowing it, to help them along—not to interfere, but to put opportunities for growth or involvement in their path. And I’m not the only sneaky mom out there! A friend of mine said she was a little sneaky when she helped her son get more involved at church. There’s an older man at her church who takes attendance during the services. He walks down a side aisle to the front of the auditorium and counts the number of people in the pews.
Read Post →Stay Informed
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