Bible Book Club
Donate

Blog Category

Marriage

98 posts from Susan Merrill.

Marriage

Is Your Marriage Slipping into the Future?

Most people (myself included!) spend their lives in the Someday Zone. We say things like, Someday, I’ll… And we fill in the blank. Someday I’ll apply for that dream job. Someday I’ll take my spouse to Europe. Someday I’ll try marriage counseling. Someday I’ll get away for a long weekend with my husband. And before we know it, someday has turned into if only. Take it from me, a mom of five. If you’re not careful, the demands of raising a family will push your marriage to the back burner and someday will never come. Then you really will be stuck in if only.

Read Post →

Marriage

What Men Have to Say about Romance

I did a test survey of fifty men on a retreat. When I asked the question “Do you yourself desire romance?” one of the men answered, “Yes, very much,” but added in the margin, “but we have different definitions.” That led me to want to find out what definitions of romance women may have missed. Men and woman have different definitions of what love feels like and looks like. {Tweet This}

Read Post →

Marriage

9 Ideas for a Summer Romance with Your Husband

Frank Lutes romanced his wife Mary far beyond flowers and candy. He was recognized by Woman’s Day magazine as being the world’s most romantic husband. Probably his most romantic gesture of their 65-year marriage happened when he found out the hotel where they spent their honeymoon was set for demolition. Frank bought the door to their honeymoon suite and hung it in their bedroom at home. So every night, they slept in room 564. Frank must have inherited some ‘romance supergene,’ right? Well, even if your husband lacks that gene, you can help him express his romantic side. Try some of these 9 ideas for a summer romance with your husband. 1. Model Home Date Take a tour of model homes and talk about how you would decorate it. What do you like about the house? What would you change? Discuss your favorite rooms. Perhaps you’ll get ideas for the future. 2. Summer Concert Summer months are full of different concert series. No matter what your preference of music, a city near you is sure to host some fantastic music festivals and concerts for any budget. Bring your lawn chairs—or better yet—a blanket, and park your cabooses under the stars. …

Read Post →

Marriage

Husband and Wife Bucket List

When first in love, life is simple and sweet. You and your spouse stay up late dreaming dreams and making plans for how things will go. Everything seems promising and exciting. But then life happens. Those dreams you dreamed are pushed aside and saved for later. But why can’t later be today? I’d like to encourage you and your spouse to write a couples bucket list together. It can be composed of small dreams or big dreams. Whatever you plan to do, plan to do it together. To help keep track of your ideas, we created a Husband and Wife Bucket List printable. Feel free to write in your ideas. But if you need a little more inspiration, here some ideas for a marriage bucket list to get you started. Husband and Wife Bucket List 1. Go back to the place you shared your first date. 2. Take a day off work, send the kids to school, and enjoy the empty house together. 3. Slow dance to your wedding song. 4. Go for a picnic on a hill. 5. Visit the spot you had your first kiss. 6. Travel to another country. 7. See your favorite band in concert. 8. Learn …

Read Post →

Marriage

Words to Inspire a Happy Marriage

I love asking loving, married couples their secret for a happy marriage. Many times they’ll just look at each other and smile. But there have been other times when I’ve gotten some really good advice. The discovery I made was that there was an interesting commonality in the advice — it usually has something to do with attitude. Most words to inspire a happy marriage inspire us to have a better attitude about our spouse, our relationship, and our life together. My husband, Mark, sets a really high bar for himself. He is the consummate overachiever. When we first married I would look at him and say, “don’t we have the best marriage?” He had a hard time agreeing. In his eyes nothing was the best, everything could be improved. But over time he started saying it to me. We would both smile in appreciation because as imperfect as our marriage was, we chose to see it as the best. It was all about attitude. It is cliche to think a one-liner, a quote, can make your marriage happy. But it can be the impetus to change your heart and changing your heart is a start. Below are a few …

Read Post →

Marriage

25 Characteristics of a Wife Who Truly Loves Her Husband

Until a year ago, my husband, Mark, lived in a “forever young” bubble. He looks great, works out regularly, and never gets sick. Another Saturday moving day came (a regular occurrence with 5 young adults in our family) because my daughter was moving into a new apartment. In the rush to get it done, only one son was available and my undaunted husband figured that was enough. The apartment was on the second floor. It is unclear which piece of furniture did the damage but by 7:00 that night he couldn’t walk. The lasting back pain continues to impact his patience levels. My girls were home during the holidays and noticed the change in him. What ensued was a discussion about marriage. When we vow to love in sickness and in health we vow to intimately walk in understanding and compassion with our husband. Mark overestimated the strength of his back. Yet, if I fail to love him through his pain then I have overestimated the strength of my love for him. We all are susceptible to overestimating, whether it is our physical strength or the strength of our love and commitment to marriage. The remedy is to work out. If you want …

Read Post →

Marriage

4 Ways to Fight Fair in Marriage

Mark and I recently did a weekend marriage conference. We had just completed a session about how to fight fair in marriage when a young, newly-married, couple approached me during the break. The moment I was free they leaned in with an anxious look on their faces and asked, “when did conflict start in your marriage?” I paused. The air was full of expectation, and I felt my answer had significant power to help or hurt this poor suffering couple. I only paused for a moment. I was pretty confident I could provide comfort. So I answered, “72 hours after we said I do.” It did not take long for Mark and me to hit a wall in our marriage–a wall of ice, in our case. We went skiing for our honeymoon and my handsome double diamond daredevil took me down a slope of ice. This slope was way beyond my skill level. My life flashed when I almost went over a cliff. I was black and blue from falling/sliding on ice, and I seriously doubted my husband had any intention of keeping his recent marital vow to love, cherish, and protect! Adrenaline, fear and furry were erupting within. …

Read Post →

Marriage

7 Facebook Rules for Couples

I love Facebook, I really do. It’s great for keeping up with my friends; it’s great for getting a heads up about special deals, and it’s great for getting to know our Facebook friends of iMOM and Susanme. However, there is one big thing that Facebook is not so great for – marriages. In fact, Facebook is cited as the major source of evidence in many divorce proceedings. So if you’re married and you’re on Facebook, there are some things you can do to protect your relationship. First, you and your husband should have full access to each other’s accounts: usernames, passwords, everything. And you should be able to go onto each other’s pages whenever you want. No questions asked. Another one of our rules comes from one of the most intelligent couples in the world. So if they think it’s a good idea, we should give it some thought too. Here are 7 Facebook Rules for Couples. 1. No Secrets. Your Facebook page and account should be an open book. If you haven’t already, sit down with your husband tonight and share your account info with each other: usernames, passwords, everything. Then, put away Facebook for a while and talk …

Read Post →

Marriage

7 Marriage Resolutions

Years ago, before marrying Mark, I visited an older friend who had a great relationship with her husband. Since I hoped to get married myself one day, I asked her advice on how to have a great marriage. I waited expectantly for her to utter what I was sure would be some deep and profound words of wisdom. She smiled at me and said, “Assume the best.” “Assume the best?” I thought. “Why is that such a big deal?” Little did I know how important that outlook is to a having a strong relationship; because if you don’t assume the best intentions about your husband, you can easily fall into the dangerous habit of seeing the worst. That’s how she explained it to me, and she was right! So resolve to have the best intentions about your husband and his actions. {Tweet This} It’s one of our 7 Marriage Resolutions for the New Year. It’s not always easy but it is always worth it. Just click on each link to learn how to keep this resolution in your marriage. 7 Marriage Resolutions for the New Year Assume the Best. This research shows how your husband really does want to make you happy. Make …

Read Post →

Marriage

Prickly Spouse? Prepare for the Porcupine Part 2

Mark and I are no strangers to conflict. We are both passionate and that fact shows up often in our communication style. While I’m always up for a debate, constant conflict in marriage can put an unwelcome strain on a marriage. Lasting conflict in marriage is a dangerous path that no couple should go down. To avoid this path, Mark and I acknowledge our trigger points when they show up. Doing this helps us know to slow down and find ways to disarm before an upcoming conflict arises. Last week, we covered how to know if you are prickly and the first 5 trigger points. Today we will cover the remaining 5. Trigger Points of Conflict (continued) 6. Feeling disrespected. 7. Being sick or tired. 8. Being lied to. 9. Disciplining kids. 10. Relational insecurity. Listen here as Mark and I discuss in more depth our trigger points and how we disarm them as they show up.

Read Post →