Have you ever experienced mornings that are perfect for comedy shows, but not so much for reality? These chaotic, sometimes even humorous mornings, may consist of walking the dogs, making breakfast, packing lunches, getting dressed, packing sports gear, and somehow managing to drop kids off at school on time. Mornings like these are already exhausting, but what finally tips the scale are unexpected incidences like spilling hot coffee on your white blouse or getting pulled over for speeding.
Do you know of a family member or a close friend who suffers from addiction? How has their family reacted? Have they been open about their struggles with the mental illness or have they kept them hidden in the dark? I understand these can be emotional questions to answer because I have family members who struggle with alcoholism. Most people, when they hear the word addiction, automatically think of the social and behavioral problems. However, the root problem of addiction is really physical and psychological. For example, I have a heart condition. My heartbeat is often irregular. When this happens my brain steps in and I take action. I lay down and call the doctor. A person who suffers from addiction has a brain condition, a mental illness. The very thing they need – the brain to take control – is the physical body part that is sick. The struggle for addicts is so daunting. Can you imagine how difficult it must be to psychologically fight a behavior when your brain physically craves it? It is hard to put ourselves in the addict’s shoes, but Samantha Fowler did in the video below. I have known the Fowler family ever since Sam’s mother, Elizabeth, …
This week, I heard a viral recording of a hilarious high school answering machine. The options for the parents to choose in the recording were ridiculous. Some of the options included were, “To make excuses as to why your child did not do his homework, press 2” and “To request another teacher for the third time this year, press 8.” The teachers of the school unanimously voted for this message because they were just fed up with the parents’ demands. While the answering machine recording is funny, it is also convicting. Once you have a child, it is tempting to lose your mind and become one of the many overprotective parents. If you feel like that is you, just know you are not alone. The face of parenting has changed in America over the past couple of generations. Our culture has become extremely child-focused, and some parents find themselves losing proper perspective on their children and what parenting should look like. The following guidelines can help you maintain your objectivity and take a balanced approach to raising your kids without losing your mind. 1. This is not your second childhood. Are you familiar with those reality shows with the pageant …
The New Year is almost here. Hello and goodbye to the present and the past. I’m ready for 2018 and willing to move on from 2017. As moms, the passage of time is both exciting and a little bittersweet, too. On one end of the time spectrum for moms, it’s thrilling to see our babies take their first steps; but on the other end of the spectrum, it is oh so sad when we drop off our child at college and return home to face his empty room. And as the last hours of this year tick away, I want you to know that you have been a big part of my 2017. I’ve been encouraged by your comments on our site, and I’ve been touched and humbled when you’ve asked me to share in your heartaches and pray for you and your families. So as we wrap up the last month of the year, know that Susanme and iMOM are here for you. I am here for you. Let’s say hello to 2018 and goodbye to what’s better left behind in 2017. Hello to accepting who we are as a mom, and good-bye to trying to be the kind of mom we’re not. …
In a candid moment around the dinner table discussing personality traits, my kids told me I can be angry. I protested but they had a point and I had no excuse. You see, whether you have one child or five, whether you work in the home or out, we all can get frustrated and angry at one point or another. Anger has a way of sneaking up on us. Somehow small moments of frustration can quickly escalate into anger. Getting to the root of our anger will help us all to deal with the emotions in a healthy way. It can be easy to disregard our anger and push it aside without ever getting to the root cause of that anger, but I think it is important to stop that. We need to take the time to ask, why am I so angry? Not just as individuals but as a society we need to ask this question as well. If we don’t get what we want when we want it, we get angry. Anger is becoming so much more acceptable—think road rage, the political landscape, or battles between law enforcement and the citizens they are intended to protect. Just because something …
I came to a jarring realization two days ago–a positive aspect of my DNA has become a negative. And I am struggling with life. I have always loved to ponder about people and life. I have written about this before and I believe we must ponder (give consideration to, pray about) to love others well (our husband, children, friends). But pondering people and situations with optimism, reflection, and hope has turned to struggling with pessimism, panic, and despair. How did this happen? How do you keep from crossing the line between pondering about life to struggling with life? Two words: trust or control. Trust: reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety of a person. Control: to exercise restraint or direction over; dominate; command. Two more words: God or me. This jarring revelation came to me through a Beth Moore study we are doing at work called Entrusted. Needless to say there is a lot in the study about trust. And I am not doing it. I am not trusting God in my pondering. Instead I am struggling for control. It’s me against God and, no surprise, I am losing. There are a myriad of reasons why we don’t trust God with the people …
There are some things Mark and I learned along the way in parenting that we spent way too much time learning, so don’t make the same mistakes! Good habits take time to form. Here are 8 Habits to Break as a Family—work on them with yours. Trust me, you will be thankful you didn’t waste your time or opportunities! Bickering This one is tough. It is something that can be a big distraction for the family! With our big family, I had to find quick ways to deal with it. For example, when we would be in the car and bickering would start, I would literally pull the car over. If they didn’t stop, I would check my phone and wait for them to stop. Another example is if the kids fought over a toy, the next day I would make the toy disappear, and when they would ask why, I would say that they just weren’t ready for the privilege of the toy. The longer it goes on, the worse it gets—so stop it in its tracks now! Disorganization We will never have the ‘perfect’ household, but shooting to have a general organization over things is a good idea. …
Are you a maid or a mom? The answer to that question really matters when it comes to figuring out how to get children doing chores regularly. A maid serves. She does all of the work because it’s less frustrating than figuring out how in the world to get her kids to pitch in. A mom trains. She knows that if she doesn’t, she’ll be wearing that maid’s uniform forever. I’ve seen it in my own house with my kids—if they know I’ll eventually get around to doing the housework, they don’t worry about helping. That’s where the training comes in. We have to bite the bullet and get over the it’s easier if I just do it myself mentality and take the time to teach our children how it’s done. We may spend a lot of time up front, but boy is it nice when the kids finally do their part. Teach your children to do their chores and you’ll be on your way to being a mom, not a maid. {Tweet This} Here are two easy ways to get started. Chore Charts Your easy first step in training your children is to use a chore chart. Introduce your children to the concept gradually. Keep it simple by having just a …
Have you ever made a bucket list? They are a fun and practical way that can help you connect with someone, and also something you can do in all phases of life, with all types of people that you love. A relationship bucket list isn’t just something that you want to tackle before you pass away—make it a game! Bucket lists encourage you to spend time with those whom you love, helps to create memories through having common experiences, and solidify heart connections. What are we doing that creates memories in our relationships? Trust me—they don’t have to be huge things! Simple or new things that you want to try is really all you need! Let’s say you are always taking your kids to the park; perhaps you should try to plant a garden together. This would be a fun way to introduce them to something new, all the while creating something beautiful with them. When your children are small, it’s easy to find creative ways to make these bucket list items happen cheaply–you don’t need to break the bank. When our Marky was 5, he adored baseball. So, we used to take him to our local high school baseball …
When we bought our “forever” 1920’s house and spent a year renovating it, I remember thinking, It’s a shame I won’t ever do this again because I know so much more now that I have walked through the entire process. Now that my oldest child is 27 I am thinking the same thing, It’s a shame I won’t ever do this again because I know so much more now that I have walked through the entire process! I made some adjustments to my parenting as I went along, experimenting on the oldest and applying what I learned to my youngest. However, there is a depth of insight that only comes from the experience of raising a child all the way to adulthood. Looking back I can more clearly see the big picture that was difficult to keep in perspective when there were five children clamoring for attention. So here are three broad, big picture thoughts that would have helped me in those “mommed out” moments when I doubted all – my sanity, that a stage would never end, that children were a blessing, etc., etc. 1. Motherhood is not for the weak at heart. The tenderhearted yes, but not …
