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From Susan Merrill

The Blog

Marriage

For Better, For Worse

When my daughter Megan got married, I don’t know who was happier…me or Megan! The day of the wedding was rainy, which was bad since the plan was to have the ceremony outside. But all of a sudden (I think it was because of the prayers of me and my network of praying friends!) the sky cleared, and it was beautifully calm and sunny. As the ceremony progressed, birds chirped in the trees and the breeze gently blew Megan’s veil around her face. It felt like a little piece of heaven. In the middle of all of that beauty, Megan and Hampton confidently vowed to each other their lives, “for better, for worse.” Before God and the people she loves most, my daughter said these words: I take thee // To be my wedded husband My constant friend//My faithful partner// And my love from this day forward// To have and to hold//For better, for worse// For richer, for poorer//In sickness and in health// To love and to cherish//Till death do us part// I will love God and faithfully serve Him// I will love you and faithfully pursue you// In the presence of God, our family and friends// I pledge to you my faithfulness. As we …

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Marriage

Marriage Messages to My Daughter

When I got married 27 years ago, it was a bit different. I wasn’t as consumed with the to-do’s of weddings as young brides are today, but rather infatuated with the idea of becoming Mark’s wife. I longed for the ‘happily ever after‘, not necessarily the ‘happily ever before’. So, I wanted to give Megan the same experience, if I could. Leading up to her wedding, I wrote her little notes paired with a little gift every 10 days that were little encouragements as to what a wife is and the beauty of marriage in God’s eyes. Click the image below and get this beautiful PDF download for FREE! More from the Wedding: Wedding Vows: The pastor’s wedding message was so honoring to God and brought us all to tears. It was the highlight for our family and examples of vows are hard to find even online. So feel free to take inspiration from the amazing words of Pastor Denny Heiberg. The Pictures and Details: the venue, the vendors and the pictures of the day that is frozen in my memory! For Better, For Worse: Helping Megan prepare for the “better” and “worse” of marriage and how to glorify God through it all. The Wedding Trumped the …

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Marriage

Megan’s Wedding Vows

Here is an example of my daughter, Megan’s wedding vows. Pastor Denny Heiberg surpassed all of my expectations on what a wedding ceremony could look like. And as the mother of the bride you have control over a lot of the aspects of the wedding, but not the ceremony. That is totally reliant on the pastor–and you can’t control it. You have to hope that they will say something truly meaningful because it is an opportunity for him to share the love of God with everyone you love. It was amazing. Megan and I promised each other we wouldn’t cry, but his words pierced our hearts. ADDRESS TO FAMILY: The Marriage of Hampton & Megan Unites their two Families & Creates a New One! They deeply Desire and Ask for your Blessing. Do you who Represent their FAMILIES, Rejoice in their Union, and Pray God’s Blessing upon them? “WE DO!” ADDRESS TO FRIENDS: Will All of you, by God’s Grace, do Everything in your Power to Uphold/Care for Megan & Hampton in their Marriage? “WE WILL!” MEGAN & HAMPTON are You now ready to ENTER into this HOLY RELATIONSHIP, TO ACCEPT the RESPONSIBILITIES of MARRIAGE and PARENTHOOD, to be a LOVING, …

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Marriage

Wedding Details

Megan and I couldn’t have been happier with the wedding venue or our vendors. Here is a peek at the wedding details and all the amazing vendors who created this special day! The Wedding Invitations The welcome bags were left in the hotels for the guests. A friend made the bags out of fabric I found on sale. The wedding monogram of MH was created by the talented graphic designer in our office, Reed Richardson. The invitations, wedding weekend details, and program were letter pressed by A&P Designs. Bride and Maids Prep While searching for photos to display of all the family weddings I found my mothers and grandmothers dresses in a box in the attic. I grabbed the dresses and mine and through them in the car before we headed to Thomasville. I wanted a picture. My daughter Emily wrote the years on the hangers. Four generations of Brides! What can I say about sweet, talented Rachel. We have known her for years and it made getting ready that much more comfortable. Her team made the whole Bridal party look beautiful and made me look five years younger. We were all happy! If you ever need your makeup done, …

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Parenting

What to Teach Your Son (and Daughter) about Locker Room Talk

“Locker Room Talk” has become a trending topic in the news recently. Some people brush off these types of remarks with “boys will be boys,” or by saying it’s “just talk.” However, the reality of the situation is that there is no such thing as “just talk.” According to Andrew Newberg, M.D. and Mark Robert Waldman, leaders in brain-and-communication research, hostile words can negatively change brain chemistry while positive words stimulate motivating frontal lobe activity. The more you engage with a word the more areas of the brain are stimulated. Pause there and consider that last statement for a minute. Focus on the word more. The problem, today, is that there are more words, more often, in more places. Locker room talk doesn’t just stay in the locker room anymore. It gets broadcasted and engaged with over and over. And that can have deep, painful consequences for someone. Words have power, the lens through which we view our world is greatly influenced by the words we speak and hear. As parents, we are often left out of the peer-to-peer communication that transpires at school, on the playground, in the locker room or on mobile phones. You cannot monitor everything your …

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Parenting

How to Help Your Child Succeed in School

Help! Moooooooom, I need help. I helped my kids in school and my kids really did need help. School today is hard! I think it is so much harder than when I went to school. I got into the University of Florida without a single AP class. I took the SAT one time. I didn’t need or receive any help from my parents. The school workload today is different and you may want to consider how you can help your child succeed in school without, of course, doing their work for them. Most of what I helped my kids with (other than math–math is so hard) was understanding the disciplines of success for any endeavor–school, college, work, sports, etc. Three musts for success in life and all of the above are as follows: 1. Must Manage Time Well The most recent numbers from the National Center for Educational Statistics reveal that kids spend, on average, just over 33 hours a week at school. And that doesn’t even include the time they spend doing homework—an estimated 2-4 hours per week in elementary and middle school and as much as 17.5 hours per week in high school. That means your child will be …

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Marriage

7 Things Wives Should Tell Their Husbands

Words of encouragement is my love language but not Mark’s. I absolutely love it when Mark compliments me. In fact, I NEED him to compliment me! Sometimes I forget, though, that he also needs affirmation from me even if it’s not his love language. We all need some level of affirmation, and there are things to tell your husband to help him feel loved. Husbands and wives both need verbal love from their spouse, and I’m working on doing a better job of letting Mark know how much I respect and appreciate him. As terrible as it sounds, I had to give it some thought as to how to make sure the affirmation I gave him packed some punch. When Mark and I were writing a “his and hers” set of books for husbands and wives, I found a blog on Mark’s site that he had written about what husbands want to hear from their wives. Scary! Do you think he was trying to give me a hint? I was afraid to ask! But I am going to take him at his word and try these 7 things wives should tell their husbands on him…we will see if he …

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Parenting

How to Break Your Child’s Sense of Entitlement

A familiar trope in movies and TV shows for kids, tweens, and teens is kids complaining that they didn’t get something they think they deserve. They complain about a teacher giving them a poor grade. They whine to their friends about their parents giving them an early curfew or not letting them go to a party. They call coaches dumb when they don’t make the team. They expect other people to bend over backwards doing things for them, with younger siblings and “dorky” friends frequently falling victim to their demands. The scary thing is that this theme, used for comedic value in the entertainment targeted at our children, is far too often found in the real world. Have you ever been shocked to find that your child believes they deserve something, that they are entitled to something they clearly haven’t earned? An entitlement is something that is granted to someone without them having to earn it. It is given without any effort. And unfortunately, our culture is encouraging our children’s sense of entitlement. My husband, Mark, asked me to join him on this podcast to tackle the worrisome trend of entitlement that is growing in recent generations and has become all too …

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Parenting

Love Your Child Enough to Let Them Hurt

When you love your kids, nothing hurts more than seeing them in pain. As a mom, I can hardly bear to see my kids in any kind of distress, whether it be physical, emotional, or spiritual. From skinned knees to serious medical issues, squabbles with friends to messy breakups, parents have to help their kids through plenty of painful times on the journey to adulthood…and beyond. Naturally, parents want to help remove pain from their child’s life. But is that always the best thing? Perhaps not. I would like to offer you a piece of advice that sounds crazy but is rooted in decades of experience: sometimes, it’s okay to let your child hurt. Pain is a normal part of life. In order to grow and mature, people will encounter pain and must learn how to deal with it. That’s not to say we shouldn’t care if our children are suffering, and it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be there to support them. But as a culture, we have created an environment that practically worships ease, comfort, and minimizing pain. There is a temptation to make a pain-free, stress-free, boredom-free, struggle-free existence the absolute goal of our lives. We constantly seek …

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Marriage

3 Ways to Practice Patience in Your Marriage

I’m sure Mark and I aren’t the only couple that sometimes struggles with impatience. At least, I hope not! Mark readily admits that patience is not one of his strengths, and I certainly have my own struggles with frustration, usually when I’m busy and over-tired (like, I admit, today). When things don’t go according to plan, your spouse doesn’t act in the way you expect, and the kids are being crazy, falling into impatience is a common response. But just because impatience is common doesn’t make it okay, especially when it means lashing out at your spouse! We had to learn how to control our impatience the hard way–years of trial and error! In this podcast, Mark and I share three key ways to fight impatience in marriage. 1. Understand what triggers impatience While there are some obvious triggers like being too busy, not having enough rest, or not feeling well, there are more subtle triggers, as well. One of the triggers in our marriage is a disconnect in our styles of communication. My husband is Mr. Wordsmith, carefully crafting his thoughts before speaking them. Meanwhile, I just blurt out whatever is on my mind, often not really thinking through my …

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