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From Susan Merrill

The Blog

Parenting

Don’t Let Them Drive Away

Unless they are ready. I have taught three children to drive. It is not my favorite thing to teach. Not because my kids weren’t good drivers. No, I don’t enjoy it because it is contrary to my every instinct, as a mom, to put my child in a dangerous situation. And driving is dangerous! But, it is a part of life and we can’t sweat it. But we can think about it real hard! So, I did. Here is what I came up with. 1. My kids have to be “A” students and have their priorities in order before receiving the freedom that comes with a license. 2. They must demonstrate an ability to exercise self-control especially when there may be peer pressure or distractions. 3. They must have earned my trust by handling other responsibilities with excellence. 4. They must sign this driving contract from iMOM.com. The contract makes it very clear what I expect of them as a driver. Then I let them drive away and I do the most important thing – I pray… Dear Lord, Please watch over my son. Do not let wisdom and understanding out of his sight, preserve his sound judgment and discretion; they …

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Parenting

Baby 1 Turned 21!

And it was soooooo much fun! All of a sudden these girls are grown up – beautiful, smart, witty – and a blast to be with. I love my Meggie and I have loved every minute of the sweet privilege of 21 years of being her mom!

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Encouragement

Damsel in Distress

Last week I saw a musical that is headed to Broadway in March. It is called Wonderland. The most comedic number in the play is called One Knight. Alice in Wonderland is a working mom. Her almost ex-husband, Jack, becomes her white knight and rescues her as a damsel in distress. Of course, Jack is more like a smooth operator with over-exaggerated boy band, *NSYNC moves. I don’t think it’s just me or Alice or Anita Renfroe (in the video below) who need to be rescued once in while. If you are a mom then there will be times when you are a damsel in distress!

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Marriage

Marital Commitment is a Synergistic Multiplier.

Like those big words? It is my fancy answer to this question I was asked: How does commitment play into relationship success? My theory is that commitment is a synergistic multiplier. Committed couples have twice the energy, twice the creativity, and twice the intelligence. They feed off of each other, enable each other and encourage each other. They give each other the boldness to do and go where they probably wouldn’t go alone. They stand behind each other and contradict enemy whispers of doubt when one gets discouraged. This synergy occurs if there is trust in the relationship. Trust is born when the ‘what if…’ is taken out of the equation. It is available to every couple. It simply requires that you absolutely refuse to accept anything but the fact that we are committed forever. This is not about you or me this is about us. We will do it together. With trust all things become possible and the synergistic multiplier begins. You become a team, the team has synergy and the synergy brings success to whatever you two dream about becoming.

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Marriage

3 Things To Stay Connected To My Husband

As a contributor on Loveishere.com I was asked this question… Get an Oscar, get a divorce? University of Toronto study shows that women who win an Oscar are more likely to get divorced. How can couples in high performance careers keep their relationships on track? Here is my answer… Oscar winners like Sandra Bullock are not the only ones who are busy. If you have children in your home you are a high performance couple! Last week my husband was out of town from Thursday to Sunday. This week I am out of town from Thursday to Sunday. We are all busy! But you can win the game of love (not tennis) with a winning SET – Strategy, Efficiency, and Time. First, develop a strategy. The first thing anyone does in a new job is figure out how and when the boss likes things done. What about your spouse? Be strategic and figure out what your spouse really needs to feel loved. My husband and I got so busy our relationship was crumbling. We had to get strategic. We sat down and answered a simple question – what one thing can I consistently do that would make you feel loved? We …

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Parenting

“We” Manners!

Yep, the reality is its your mombligation to teach manners. And with all the reality TV out there if you don’t teach manners you will have a real mess of a child. Am I being harsh? Remember this is just me (or my opinion). And I think reality TV is often focused on rude, mannerless people. You may have found a show or two that are paragon examples of civility. Chances are those are not the shows that your children find entertaining! So you must teach manners (and limit reality TV). Manners are still important to your child’s future if you want them to find favor with their teachers and ultimately their employer. The earlier you start teaching the more your child will accept manners as a way of life. Here is a little song you can use as a manners reminder instead of nagging. We say thank you, we say please. We don’t interrupt, we don’t tease. We don’t argue, we don’t fuss. We listen when people talk to us. We share toys, we take turns. Good manners are never hard to learn. It is easy when you find Good manners mean just being kind!

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Encouragement

Clash of the Hormones

This may just be me and my crazy house but think about this – if a woman has children any time between the ages of 30 and 45 then she could have teenagers living at home when she is between the ages of 43 and 63. In other words, while your teenagers hormones are surging yours are waning. That makes for a very unstable household – a veritable clash of the hormones! If only the body used what hormones it needed and emitted the left overs. Then peri-menopausal moms could chase their teens around and catch what they needed. Household peace and balance would be restored – a happy ending, sigh! Back to reality. This is just me but here are the lessons I learned when the Clash of the Hormones hit my house. Lesson 1: If you now know that there is a potential for a clash you can head it off just by being aware. Know your body and be aware of how it affects your mood ie. if your family is telling you, you are moody, listen and take the time to analyze why. You may want to blame all your household strife on your moody 15 …

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Marriage

Love…SET…Win!

As a contributor on Loveishere.com I was asked this question… Get an Oscar, get a divorce? University of Toronto study shows that women who win an Oscar are more likely to get divorced. How can couples in high performance careers keep their relationships on track? Here is my answer… Oscar winners like Sandra Bullock are not the only ones who are busy. If you have children in your home you are a high performance couple! Last week my husband was out of town from Thursday to Sunday. This week I am out of town from Thursday to Sunday. We are all busy! But you can win the game of love (not tennis) with a winning SET – Strategy, Efficiency, and Time. First, develop a strategy. The first thing anyone does in a new job is figure out how and when the boss likes things done. What about your spouse? Be strategic and figure out what your spouse really needs to feel loved. My husband and I got so busy our relationship was crumbling. We had to get strategic. We sat down and answered a simple question – what one thing can I consistently do that would make you feel loved? We …

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Encouragement

The Heart of Parenting

The heart of parenting can be filled with pain. It can hurt deeper than anything I have ever experienced. When you have a little one (at any age) that is hurting or hearting as I call it, meaning their heart is hurting, it feels twice as painful to me as any personal hurt I have ever suffered. I guess this is what it means to love deeply. Your heart hurts more. I am convinced that there are invisible bonds that have attached my heart to theirs. Of course, the reverse is true also. The heart of parenting can be filled with joy. When I have a little one whose heart experiences joy, that joy is magnified 10 times for me. It is a bit of a roller coaster when different children experience different spectrums of the heart in one day. sigh. Go love your little ones…Happy Valentines Day.

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