Bible Book Club
Donate

From Susan Merrill

The Blog

Parenting

The 3 R’s of Discipline

Don’t you wish there was one single set of instructions on how to discipline every child? We all do. But, in reality, there are lots of decisions which moms must make along the way with different answers for each child. Have you fallen into this cycle? Your child breaks a rule. You discipline (or, yell). Child breaks same rule again. You discipline (or, yell). Child breaks same rule… again and again and again! There is a way to break this pattern so your discipline gets to the heart of their disobedience. It’s an ongoing process that requires consistency and commitment. One goal of disciplining our children is to train them to learn self-discipline. We are teaching them the boundaries of right and wrong so, at some point, they can make the right choices without our input. The Big “L” Before we get to the 3 R’s, let’s talk about the big “L” – love. When you discipline your child, you need to make sure you’re approaching the process with a spirit of love. What does that mean? Well, for starters, don’t discipline out of anger. When you’re ready to explode, take a deep breath, say a prayer and then approach your …

Read Post →

Marriage

Are You Encouraging Your Spouse to Cheat?

Last month, countless lives were turned upside down when hackers posted the personal information of an alleged 32 million users of Ashley Madison, an online service that promotes and facilitates adultery. The website’s slogan reads, “Life is short. Have an affair.” The site claimed to have 39 million members and much was discussed in the news about the men who were found on the list. But I also couldn’t help wondering, who are the women having affairs with these men? What would lead so many people, men and women, to so actively seek an affair? Why are we more prone than ever before to wander in our marriages to the point that we actively seek ways to secretly cheat? One potential problem area in our marriage is not listening. I have been told that I like to talk, and maybe I have been blessed (ahem) with the gift of gab. And since my husband also has that gift, we tend to interrupt each other frequently and sometimes struggle to truly listen to what the other person is saying because we’re thinking about what we want to say next. Unfortunately, that can lead to both of us feeling like the other …

Read Post →

Marriage

How to Be Spontaneous in Your Marriage

Once upon a time, I was spontaneous and fun. In fact, my husband would say it was one of the characteristics that attracted me to him. I was ready to go anywhere at a moment’s notice. I was always looking for a chance to be creative and romantic. Constantly, I was surprising Mark with impromptu scavenger hunts and silly poems. I was full of energy and ideas. But then what always seems to happen…happened. Life caught up with me. We had kids, and our schedules got busier and busier–and all creativity was devoted to school projects, homecoming floats, organizing football fundraisers and choreographing choral numbers. I ran out of the energy for the spontaneity that is so important for keeping the passion alive in marriage. Mark noticed. In fact, he came to me about it—more than once. I didn’t receive his comments. Instead, I rejected his feelings of neglect with well-justified excuses that everything I was doing was for OUR children. I was wrong. Our marriage is the most important relationship I have in the world. I made a covenant to love and care for my husband when I married him. Yes, my children are important. I brought them into …

Read Post →

Encouragement

Peering Into Eternity

I can still clearly remember the day my heart stopped. At only 17 years old, I had a cardiac arrest. I was a cheerleader for my high school, and our football team was playing for the district championship. It was an intense game. I was on the sidelines, willing our team to victory. Feeling every play. My senses on high alert. The clock was running out, the game was on the line, and a huge upset play turned the outcome in our favor. Along with all of my friends and the other fans, I cheered wildly, almost in disbelief. I can still smell the freshly mowed grass of the field, concessions, sweat. I can hear the roar of the crowd in my head. I can feel my heart racing…and racing. Long after I stopped jumping and screaming, it was still racing. I thought it would never stop. Two hours later, the familiar senses were replaced by the sharp antiseptic smell, bright lights, and hushed commotion of an emergency room. I tried to listen to the frantic conversations around me, wanting to know what was happening. I don’t think I really knew how serious it was until my body began relaxing …

Read Post →

Parenting

3 Ways to Foster Friendships Between Your Kids

Even with a growing number of only children, about 80% of Americans have at least one brother or sister. And like it or not, they are to some extent stuck with each other for their entire lives! For most people, sibling relationships are the most enduring of all relationships, outlasting that with parents, spouses, children, or friends. But sometimes, it feels like children were born not to get along with each other. As a parent, I am WAY too familiar with the whining and bickering that frequently accompany the interactions of young siblings. My children are very different from one another, which is a great thing. But when the kids were younger, their quarreling could drive me up a wall. Maybe that sounds familiar to you! It’s common for siblings, especially at a young age, to not get along. Mark and I have found through a few years of trial and error that there are practical ways to encourage children toward friendship with one another, and we are grateful to see strong relationships between our adult kids now. In this podcast, we share 3 ways to foster friendships between your kids, one of them being do fun things together. I think this …

Read Post →

College

6 Mistakes College Freshmen Make

Graduating from high school can be one of the most exciting times in a young child’s life, but it can also be one of the scariest! All of a sudden, your teenager is thrust into the world. They have to make decisions with potentially life-altering consequences. So how do you make sure your child does it right? The first step is avoiding some of the most common mistakes college freshmen make. Go over the different 6 points on this list as you talk or visit with your teen during their freshman year. 1. Over-committing. Enthusiastic freshmen can easily bite off more than they can chew if they don’t choose their activities carefully. College offers incredible experiences, and it is difficult to turn down opportunities to make friends and do things you love. Participation in student organizations, intramural sports, piled on top of course loads can quickly add up. Add that to never-ending opportunities to socialize and even the most capable of students end up overwhelmed and stressed out. Encourage your student to take the time to enjoy their college experiences rather than just surviving them. 2. Under-committing. Your child’s chances of making long-lasting relationships when they spend all their free time watching Netflix …

Read Post →

Marriage

How to Agreeably Disagree with Your Spouse

We all have challenging times in our marriages when we have to make tough decisions, and sometimes that can cause conflict. My marriage is no exception! When to start having kids. Whether or not to quit good, stable jobs to go into full-time ministry. How to discipline our children. What to spend our money on. Whether or not to adopt. How to run a ministry while raising a family and dealing with serious health issues. Mark and I definitely don’t agree on everything! And you know what? That’s okay. It’s natural to occasionally disagree with your spouse. Often, there are no right or wrong answers to life’s difficult questions—just different approaches and opinions. Facing tough decisions can lead to disagreements between spouses, but it’s possible to work through differences of opinion with love. One of the most important things for me and Mark is to start on common ground. It helps me to remind myself that Mark loves me, that he wants what is best for our family, and that his ultimate desire is to honor God. And when we are disagreeing about something, especially a family-related issue, being reminded of that is crucial. When we stop and think about it, …

Read Post →

Encouragement

Panic Gives Way to Peace

I sometimes wonder how people survive without prayer. I couldn’t make it through a single day, much less a lifetime, without prayer. For me, praying is almost like breathing. I’m not saying that because I want you to think I am acing the Christian life. I’m not. I have to pray simply to survive and stay sane! Without prayer, I have no peace in my life. But I do have to admit that praying is not always my first response to the difficulties that inevitably come up in life. In fact, I have a problem with panicking. A pretty big problem. Any number of things can throw me into a cycle of worry and anxiety, and I panic instead of praying. Especially as a mom who worries about my kids, I could easily be in a constant state of panic! Most of my worries follow a little pattern that can spiral out of control without me even noticing. It springs up as a little pang of fear; it then picks up speed, swirling into worry around my brain; next it spins me downward in a funnel of anxiety, till I bottom out in a puddle of panic. When I land, …

Read Post →

Parenting

5 Parenting Speed Bumps

When I’m in a hurry and trying to get somewhere quickly, nothing irritates me as much as a speed bump—especially when it comes out of nowhere and takes me by surprise! While flying through life, attempting to balance the countless things on my plate, I sometimes get hit by a speed bump that reminds me I have to slow down. They’re never fun, but these speed bumps in our lives offer a perfect opportunity for reflection and evaluation. Over the past 24 years, Mark and I have faced countless parenting speed bumps. Illnesses, friendships gone awry, academic transitions, disappointments, puberty, learning to drive, first dates, and so many others. I remember one parenting speed bump came when my daughter Emily was in the third grade. She had loved school until then but suddenly changed out of the blue. Where she used to come home from school overflowing with stories to tell, she was now moody and distracted and didn’t seem to want to talk about her day. She became increasingly distracted, grumpy, disorganized, and her grades were slipping. Ever the concerned mom, I began sleuthing around for clues. I found notes in her backpack that were being passed around in …

Read Post →

Marriage

Let’s Talk About Marriage Communication

Communication is the glue that holds a marriage together. But I can tell you that during our 28 years of marriage, there have been countless times when Mark and I have come a little unglued. Early in our marriage, I struggled to navigate the sticky communication situations we sometimes found ourselves in. I had to start by figuring out how to communicate…about communication! As crazy as it sounds, I learned that to improve our couples communication, we had to talk about the way (conversations were getting ugly, at times) we talk to each other. Not in the heat of the moment, but sometime later when we had both cooled down and were relaxed. And in order for me to effectively express myself to Mark, there were 3 questions about his communication that I had to answer for myself. What don’t I like? Every person has communication preferences, and it’s so important to know what those are. There are certain things Mark can say or do when we are talking that wear me out or tear me down. Over the years, I have taken the time to analyze my feelings and reactions so I know exactly what I don’t like, and …

Read Post →