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From Susan Merrill

The Blog

Parenting

THAW Before You Say “Yes”

Has this ever happened to you? You’re staring at your family calendar. On deck for tomorrow is an order for 30 cupcakes for your child’s class-pizza-party—which you haven’t started, because today you were making and delivering a meal for a friend that just had a baby. You’ve also agreed to pick up the pizza on your way in with the cupcakes. To make matters worse, you have a huge project at work with a looming deadline, and you volunteered to lead Women’s Bible Study. The children are screaming for dinner, and countless other tasks are screaming in your head, when you suddenly realize that it’s only Monday. Your whole week has already been accounted for – before you’ve gotten through the first day! You’ve overextended yourself and your family, again! The question is, for what? As Moms, we pile it on like the first round of Thanksgiving dinner! Even though we know more will make us feel tired, sick, and unhealthy; we keep passing our plate around. So, why do we feel the need to say “Yes.” to everything? I’m not sure if it’s all men, but my husband always gives an initial “No.” to every question. Growing up my …

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Parenting

Moms Speak Out on Beauty Obsession

Where do moms need to draw the line with their children, and themselves, when it comes to the pursuit of beauty? In this video I talk with two moms about society’s push for perfection. What do you think about today’s beauty options? How far is too far? How will you teach your daughter to steer clear of beauty obsession with beauty balance?

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Parenting

Tug of War

In recent weeks, I’ve noticed a pattern emerging in my parenting. As each of my children starts to pull away a little—asserting their independence, I tend to want to pull them right back. Sometimes I think it’s a natural maternal reaction. Sometimes I think it is doubt mixed with fear – they are just not ready. Sometimes it is my heart struggling to keep them close to me, cuddling on the couch—as if. Whatever causes it, I know that my tugging and pulling only causes anxiety and frustration in both of us. Emily will be off to college in just a few short weeks. She’ll be living on her own, making grown up decisions, and going to class without me pushing her out the door in the morning. While I know she’s more than capable of excelling in college, this summer I had a hard time treating her with the respect—that over the years—she’s earned from me. Instead, I was over parenting her with what my mind saw as last minute training opportunities. She, of course, saw it differently! Both of us were pulling in opposite directions making mommy-ing unfun. The result was a lot of bickering. I took a …

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Parenting

Gossip Girls

It bothers me and deeply offends me when I hear that someone has talked about me behind my back. But I must confess that I’ve been a part of plenty of those conversations, too. You know the drill, one minute you’re sipping coffee talking about kids, and the next minute, you’re slamming a mutual friend over what she chose to wear to church on Sunday…”Bless her heart.” Next someone chimes in about the way she disciplines her children…”I’d never…!” Finally, an inadvertent comment about her less-than-perfect past…”Gasp! Oh my gosh!” And the damage is done. It reminds me of the BP oil spill in the gulf. Gossip is explosive. It comes gushing from deep in your heart and once it flows, it’s not easily capped. Then it spreads. It gets deeper, and thicker, becoming harder to contain. The cost is severe, the damage is irreversible, and try as you may to clean it up, there are still residual effects. I’ve resolved (several times over I might add—hey, I’m not perfect) to stay away from gossip, however trivial. I’m challenging you to do the same! Strive for more positive conversations in your friendship circles. Challenge each other to be better, and …

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Parenting

Mind the Gaps

My daughter’s godparent is an avid “Facebook-er” and since I’m not, I’ve asked him to keep an eye on what my kids post on their walls. Well, just a few days ago my daughter put some summertime fun pictures of herself in a bathing suit on Facebook—an absolute no-no in our house, no matter how innocent the intention. He immediately messaged her and said, “It’s hard to catch that scripture you posted with all that skin showing.” Of course, she wasn’t too pleased with him, but she took the pictures down. And I never had to say a thing. Where parenting is concerned, Mark and I have incorporated the old adage “it takes a village (albeit a trustworthy one) to raise a child.” I adopted it from one of my favorite bible stories, in the book of Nehemiah. My quick version is this: Nehemiah goes back to his people in Jerusalem to help rebuild the walls and city that had been destroyed by its enemies. The people are tired from fighting, overwhelmed with the task at hand, and scared—all the while, their enemies were crouched just outside the walls, regrouping to attack. Sound familiar? Nehemiah encouraged and prayed for the …

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Parenting

Tebow Inspiration

One of the most powerful things we can do as Moms is to inspire our children to greatness. Pam Tebow, the mom of NFL quarterback, and college football great Tim Tebow, used these words to shape the way Tim lives by hanging this in his room. Little Eyes Are Watching You There are little eyes upon you and they’re watching night and day. There are little ears that quickly take in every word you say. There are little hands all eager to do anything you do; and a little boy who’s dreaming of the day he’ll be like you. You’re the little fellow’s idol; you’re the wisest of the wise. In his little mind about you no suspicions ever rise. He believes in you devoutly, holds all you say and do; He will say and do, in your way when he’s grown up just like you. There’s a wide eyed little fellow who believes you’re always right; and his eyes are always opened, and he watches day and night. You are setting an example every day in all you do; for the little boy who’s waiting to grow up to be like you ~ Author Unknown

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Parenting

Don’t Worry, Be Happy

When your first child was born, you studied the rise and fall of their chest while they were sleeping, certain that at any moment this beautiful and perfectly healthy child would suddenly stop breathing. Now that my kids are older, and especially as I’ve watched them head off to college, I often look back at those early years and wish that I would’ve stopped worrying about the silly and unpredictable things. I wish I had been happier about the important and the even-less-than-important things. I can’t go back, but I can share my wisdom with you. So here are my top five: 1. Don’t worry about a super clean house…unless your mother-in-law is coming. Be Happy that your kids use their creativity and imaginations while they play games and trash the house. Believe me; soon you’ll miss hearing the trucks slide across the kitchen floor. 2. Don’t worry about how they compare to other children. Be happy with who God created them to be and teach them to be confident in the same. 3. Don’t worry about the “ifs” and the uncertainties of parenting. Be happy and find the value in what you know and can control. 4. Don’t worry …

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Parenting

Is it Crazy To Let Your Kids Drink?

I recently overheard this conversation, “Oh, my kids drink, they all do you know, but mine only drink at home so I know they are safe. I take everyone’s keys, including their friends, and I don’t let them leave until the morning.” Is letting your teenager drink ever safe? Is it ever safe to break the law? Is a child safe from becoming an alcoholic because they drink at home with mom there? If the kids spend the night, does the mom then give out condoms to keep them safe from sex as a result of the lowered inhibitions due to alcohol? What if they get bored with alcohol and would like to try some drugs? What is the difference between illegal drinking and illegal drugs? Will they be safe doing drugs at home? Does all of this sound crazy to you? Or am I the one who has lost her mind because I cannot fathom how anyone could believe they were doing the right thing by allowing their underage child to drink?

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Parenting

Discipline Basics

What’s in your discipline arsenal? Do you use rewards or motivators with your kids? Do you sometimes resort to bribes to get them to behave? In this video I talk with my friend, Jan, about the discipline basics that work in raising kids.

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