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From Susan Merrill

The Blog

Marriage

7 Marriage Resolutions

Years ago, before marrying Mark, I visited an older friend who had a great relationship with her husband. Since I hoped to get married myself one day, I asked her advice on how to have a great marriage. I waited expectantly for her to utter what I was sure would be some deep and profound words of wisdom. She smiled at me and said, “Assume the best.” “Assume the best?” I thought. “Why is that such a big deal?” Little did I know how important that outlook is to a having a strong relationship; because if you don’t assume the best intentions about your husband, you can easily fall into the dangerous habit of seeing the worst. That’s how she explained it to me, and she was right! So resolve to have the best intentions about your husband and his actions. {Tweet This} It’s one of our 7 Marriage Resolutions for the New Year. It’s not always easy but it is always worth it. Just click on each link to learn how to keep this resolution in your marriage. 7 Marriage Resolutions for the New Year Assume the Best. This research shows how your husband really does want to make you happy. Make …

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Encouragement

The New Year’s Hello and Goodbye List for Moms

The New Year is almost here. Hello and goodbye to the present and the past. I’m ready for 2018 and willing to move on from 2017. As moms, the passage of time is both exciting and a little bittersweet, too. On one end of the time spectrum for moms, it’s thrilling to see our babies take their first steps; but on the other end of the spectrum, it is oh so sad when we drop off our child at college and return home to face his empty room. And as the last hours of this year tick away, I want you to know that you have been a big part of my 2017. I’ve been encouraged by your comments on our site, and I’ve been touched and humbled when you’ve asked me to share in your heartaches and pray for you and your families. So as we wrap up the last month of the year, know that Susanme and iMOM are here for you. I am here for you. Let’s say hello to 2018 and goodbye to what’s better left behind in 2017. Hello to accepting who we are as a mom, and good-bye to trying to be the kind of mom we’re not. …

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Parenting

Family Christmas Bucket List

Every year during the Christmas season my husband and I watch a particular movie together. If a year went by without doing it it would feel like a loss. It’s the small moments involving loved ones that makes this time of year so special. Are you a bucket list family? Add even more joy to your holiday season by making Christmas memories with these 12 simple ideas for family fun from our Family Christmas Bucket List.

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Marriage

Prickly Spouse? Prepare for the Porcupine Part 2

Mark and I are no strangers to conflict. We are both passionate and that fact shows up often in our communication style. While I’m always up for a debate, constant conflict in marriage can put an unwelcome strain on a marriage. Lasting conflict in marriage is a dangerous path that no couple should go down. To avoid this path, Mark and I acknowledge our trigger points when they show up. Doing this helps us know to slow down and find ways to disarm before an upcoming conflict arises. Last week, we covered how to know if you are prickly and the first 5 trigger points. Today we will cover the remaining 5. Trigger Points of Conflict (continued) 6. Feeling disrespected. 7. Being sick or tired. 8. Being lied to. 9. Disciplining kids. 10. Relational insecurity. Listen here as Mark and I discuss in more depth our trigger points and how we disarm them as they show up.

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Marriage

Prickly Spouse? Prepare for the Porcupine Part 1

My husband, Mark, often describes himself as a porcupine because as he says, “he can get a little prickly.” The reality is we all have porcupine moments in our relationships and especially in marriage. Acknowledging that you can be difficult and identifying what triggers the prickly spouse within is the path to a more harmonious marriage! Acknowledge that you might be a porcupine… Porcupines have sharp quills on its back, sides, and tail, but its belly is tender and vulnerable. So, if you are often prickly or irritable, even though you have a lovable, tender side, you might be a porcupine. Porcupines are very vocal animals, with a variety of calls including moans, grunts, coughs, wails, whines, shrieks, and tooth clicking. If you do a lot of whining or complaining, you might be a porcupine. Porcupines are often solitary animals. If you find yourself wanting to be alone, and being with other people too much makes you grumpy, you might be a porcupine. When irritated or threatened, a porcupine will turn its back, raise its quills and lash out at a predator with its rump. If you get easily defensive, show your backside, and angrily lash out at others, you …

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Parenting

8 Christmas Life Hacks You’ll Love!

If there was ever a time moms could use some really good life hacks—it’s the Christmas season! {Tweet This} Short of having your own work crew of eager elves, these Christmas life hacks are the next best thing! So here are 8 Christmas Life Hacks that I love. 1. Wrap as you go. There’s not much worse than exhaustedly wrapping gifts into the wee hours of Christmas morning. Every time you buy a gift or at least every few days, grab your tape and wrap those babies up! 2. A bag for every kid. One of my best life hacks is having an extra large trash bag to store the presents for each of my kids. Once the gift is wrapped, it goes into the appropriate bag. 3. Stocking stuffer bags. Into every child’s big bag, I put a smaller bag for stocking stuffers. That way, little gifts don’t get lost among the big stuff. 4. Use a planner. Before you spend one more dollar on gifts, make our Money Saving Christmas Gift Planner part of your routine. You’ll have all of your shopping to-dos in one place and that will make things a whole lot easier for you. 5. Peppermint Power. Crush up some candy canes, …

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College

Why Your Child’s Education is at Risk

A few months ago, I got a raise of sorts. My fourth child graduated from college and got a job. I have just one child left on my payroll! So I got a raise, and he got a gift — a college degree debt-free. There are many things that go into the training up of a child, and one of them is education. Many parents are putting that education at risk because they aren’t planning for it. When you hold a little one in your arms, college seems so distant. But it is not. And when there are 2, 3 or 4 children to educate, it is amazing how much it can cost and how quickly 18 years fly by. We were shocked at the dent it made in our budget when we ended up with three of our five kids in school at the same time. Two things saved our family from having to borrow money for college — Florida Prepaid College Plans, and scholarships. Watching our kids graduate, get jobs, and plan their own budgets to pay for cars, apartments, clothes, and food was amusing for Mark and me (they just had no idea how much everything costs), …

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Parenting

How to Prepare Your Kids for the World

From the time my children were born, I have been overcome with the need to protect them. I remember the first time flying with my newborn daughter in my arms. I have never been so afraid to step on a plane, a place where I had no control! As a mom, I am the wall of protection between my child and the world. As my kids grew my fears changed and I stopped hovering like a helicopter. I learned to trust in God more and instead of worrying over my kids, I took up my role as their wall, or protector, and their gatekeeper: The one who thoughtfully trains her child for opportunities beyond protection and how to prepare them for that independence day. Are you a gatekeeper or a helicopter mom? Our children have so many opportunities, or gates, to good things like having a cell phone, driving, dating. As moms we must know when they are ready for us to open that gate. You are so many things to your child. You are a wall—the one who will vigilantly protect your child. And you are the gatekeeper —the one who will diligently train your child for a future …

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Parenting

5 Ways to Keep the Meaning in Christmas

As the Christmas season approaches I’m reminded of my childhood. I always felt excited about everything: the decorations, the food, the shows, and especially the presents. It was easy for me to focus on the festivities and lose sight of the real meaning of Christmas. Now that I have children of my own I don’t want that to get lost. The other day I turned on the television and saw a commercial for a new movie called The Star. I thought it was refreshing to see a kids movie about the true meaning of Christmas. Don’t get me wrong, I love the Rudolph’s and Frosty’s, but when it comes to educating kids about what Christmas is really about there are few options out there. As parents, we must be intentional about restoring and maintaining the real Christmas story in the way we approach the season. How you choose to do this may depend on the ages of your children and other factors. Here are some methods I’ve found to help little ones see beyond the toys and find truth. And don’t miss downloading coloring pages featuring scenes from the movie, The Star. Your kids will have a blast! 1. Prepare the …

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Parenting

How to Find Your Purpose in Parenting

I know many of you can’t picture this day, but it will come. The day you drop your child off at college. When we dropped off my oldest child at her dorm and drove away, my husband was in tears. I couldn’t cry because I was thinking of the 500 things I wanted to make sure she knew! I kept asking myself: Is she ready to stand on her own? That day changed my thinking in how I would parent the children I still had at home. It made me zero in on my purpose in parenting, to help my children develop a solid faith that would enable them to make wise choices. What is the purpose for your mindful parenting? If you don’t know, we want to show you how to find your purpose… and believe me, having a clear purpose will help you with so many aspects of your job as a mom. To get started, you’ll need to answer these three questions: What are your core beliefs? What is your goal for your children? What is your purpose as a mother, and how will you work it to reach your goal? Every mom will answer these questions differently. For me, the answers to …

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