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From Susan Merrill

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Parenting

20 Ideas for a Family Fun Night

A friend of mine has a fun family tradition. Every year, he spends one night with his children where there are no rules. I repeat, no rules. This night is crazy! Each No Rules Night is different than the last. The kids can do whatever they want (within reason) and it has created so many memories for his family. His kids talk about it all year and constantly ask when the next one will be. It’s definitely their favorite family fun night. Nights like these are what kids remember about their childhood. Do you ever find yourself running out of ideas for fun family activities? Here is how to do a No Rule Night and 19 other ideas for your future family nights. 1. American Idol Night. Have two people in your family be the judges and the rest can be contestants. If you have a smaller family (and you don’t mind embarrassing yourself), invite some neighbors over to join in the fun. A karaoke machine is a fun way to spice this night up as well. 2. Guest of Honor Night. Have this night be focused on one person in your family or outside your family. Create a unique list …

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Marriage

Husband and Wife Bucket List

When first in love, life is simple and sweet. You and your spouse stay up late dreaming dreams and making plans for how things will go. Everything seems promising and exciting. But then life happens. Those dreams you dreamed are pushed aside and saved for later. But why can’t later be today? I’d like to encourage you and your spouse to write a couples bucket list together. It can be composed of small dreams or big dreams. Whatever you plan to do, plan to do it together. To help keep track of your ideas, we created a Husband and Wife Bucket List printable. Feel free to write in your ideas. But if you need a little more inspiration, here some ideas for a marriage bucket list to get you started. Husband and Wife Bucket List 1. Go back to the place you shared your first date. 2. Take a day off work, send the kids to school, and enjoy the empty house together. 3. Slow dance to your wedding song. 4. Go for a picnic on a hill. 5. Visit the spot you had your first kiss. 6. Travel to another country. 7. See your favorite band in concert. 8. Learn …

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Parenting

How to Get Kids to Listen

Many a mother has puzzled over this: how to get kids to listen and follow through on what they’ve heard. As a wise man wrote, We want our children to be doers, not just hearers. I know that I have a part in guiding my children from hearing to doing. I know that talking to my son while he’s playing video games does not work. I know that bombarding my daughter with lessons and lectures first thing in the morning doesn’t work. And I know that if I really want to get my kids to listen, I need to consider these 5 tips for how to get kids to listen. 1. Make eye contact. Your children’s ears have a better chance of hearing, and their mind has a better chance of comprehending when their eyes are on you. So before you start talking and directing, ask your child to look at you. If your child looks away, redirect his attention back to you. And, make sure you’re doing what you should to be a good listener, too. 2. Keep it concise. Avoid the Charlie Brown Syndrome—the droning, incoherent voice used by adults in the Peanuts cartoons. That’s exactly how you’ll sound to your child if you talk too …

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Podcast

There’s More to the Song, “I Can Only Imagine”

Have you ever had a song that stuck with you? A song that resonated with you so much that you wanted to listen to it over and over again? “I Can Only Imagine” is that kind of song for millions of people, including myself. Whenever I have trials in life, whenever I have another heart surgery, whenever work overwhelms me, whenever Mark’s back pain becomes unbearable, it gives me great peace to reflect on the lyrics: I can only imagine what my eyes will see When your face is before me… Surrounded by Your glory What will my heart feel? The song, written by Bart Millard, the lead singer of MercyMe, reminds me that the suffering in this life is temporary and one day my heart will be free of strife and filled with infinite joy in His presence. What I didn’t know was the real, not so beautiful, story behind the song, a story about something Mark and me have a great deal of passion for—fatherhood. Bart had a difficult childhood because his father was abusive. His mother loved him but could not continue in the relationship with his father and so she left when Bart was still a …

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Parenting

6 Mistakes to Avoid When Raising a Son

I have two sons and three daughters. They’ve grown into awesome young adults, but there were huge bumps along the way. Now that I’ve come out on the other side of the childhood years, I want to warn you about some of the mistakes I have made and some that I have observed other moms making when raising a son. Many of these mistakes are actually born of good intentions – in other words, we over-parent, overprotect, and just overdo it. So if you still have boys at home, it’s not too late to consider what you might tweak in how you’re parenting them. Here are the 6 mistakes to avoid when raising a son. 1. Expecting him to think like you. Your son might think like you, but he probably won’t. Boys’ minds are wired differently than girls’, so he’ll come at problems from a different angle. And once he hits early adolescence, he’ll become more guarded about sharing his feelings. So allow your son to take a different approach to life—whether it’s finding a new way to tackle his homework or choosing the sport he wants to play. 2. Setting up too many boundaries. Boys need boundaries. Let me repeat, boys …

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Parenting

6 Mistakes to Avoid When Raising a Daughter

I have entered a new phase of raising daughters. My oldest daughter, who is also my oldest child, got married last year. This daughter of mine has always brought me great happiness, and now, we have a friend relationship, too. I respect her advice. I seek her opinion on work matters. I look to her for fashion tips! I tell you all of that to give you hope in case you’re still navigating the joys and challenges of raising a daughter and wondering if you’re where you need to be on the journey. I also want you to know that my path in raising my three daughters has not always been smooth. There were many times when I faltered and I had to learn the hard way. Here is how you can avoid mistakes when raising daughters. 1. Expecting her to be like you. Even if your daughter looks like you, she still might not be like you. Of my three daughters, the one who looks the most like me is the least like me. Where I am logical, she is creative and free thinking. Yet it’s been in parenting her differences that I’ve become a better mother and a more well-rounded person. So if your daughter …

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Marriage

Words to Inspire a Happy Marriage

I love asking loving, married couples their secret for a happy marriage. Many times they’ll just look at each other and smile. But there have been other times when I’ve gotten some really good advice. The discovery I made was that there was an interesting commonality in the advice — it usually has something to do with attitude. Most words to inspire a happy marriage inspire us to have a better attitude about our spouse, our relationship, and our life together. My husband, Mark, sets a really high bar for himself. He is the consummate overachiever. When we first married I would look at him and say, “don’t we have the best marriage?” He had a hard time agreeing. In his eyes nothing was the best, everything could be improved. But over time he started saying it to me. We would both smile in appreciation because as imperfect as our marriage was, we chose to see it as the best. It was all about attitude. It is cliche to think a one-liner, a quote, can make your marriage happy. But it can be the impetus to change your heart and changing your heart is a start. Below are a few …

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Marriage

25 Characteristics of a Wife Who Truly Loves Her Husband

Until a year ago, my husband, Mark, lived in a “forever young” bubble. He looks great, works out regularly, and never gets sick. Another Saturday moving day came (a regular occurrence with 5 young adults in our family) because my daughter was moving into a new apartment. In the rush to get it done, only one son was available and my undaunted husband figured that was enough. The apartment was on the second floor. It is unclear which piece of furniture did the damage but by 7:00 that night he couldn’t walk. The lasting back pain continues to impact his patience levels. My girls were home during the holidays and noticed the change in him. What ensued was a discussion about marriage. When we vow to love in sickness and in health we vow to intimately walk in understanding and compassion with our husband. Mark overestimated the strength of his back. Yet, if I fail to love him through his pain then I have overestimated the strength of my love for him. We all are susceptible to overestimating, whether it is our physical strength or the strength of our love and commitment to marriage. The remedy is to work out. If you want …

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Marriage

4 Ways to Fight Fair in Marriage

Mark and I recently did a weekend marriage conference. We had just completed a session about how to fight fair in marriage when a young, newly-married, couple approached me during the break. The moment I was free they leaned in with an anxious look on their faces and asked, “when did conflict start in your marriage?” I paused. The air was full of expectation, and I felt my answer had significant power to help or hurt this poor suffering couple. I only paused for a moment. I was pretty confident I could provide comfort. So I answered, “72 hours after we said I do.” It did not take long for Mark and me to hit a wall in our marriage–a wall of ice, in our case. We went skiing for our honeymoon and my handsome double diamond daredevil took me down a slope of ice. This slope was way beyond my skill level. My life flashed when I almost went over a cliff. I was black and blue from falling/sliding on ice, and I seriously doubted my husband had any intention of keeping his recent marital vow to love, cherish, and protect! Adrenaline, fear and furry were erupting within. …

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Marriage

7 Facebook Rules for Couples

I love Facebook, I really do. It’s great for keeping up with my friends; it’s great for getting a heads up about special deals, and it’s great for getting to know our Facebook friends of iMOM and Susanme. However, there is one big thing that Facebook is not so great for – marriages. In fact, Facebook is cited as the major source of evidence in many divorce proceedings. So if you’re married and you’re on Facebook, there are some things you can do to protect your relationship. First, you and your husband should have full access to each other’s accounts: usernames, passwords, everything. And you should be able to go onto each other’s pages whenever you want. No questions asked. Another one of our rules comes from one of the most intelligent couples in the world. So if they think it’s a good idea, we should give it some thought too. Here are 7 Facebook Rules for Couples. 1. No Secrets. Your Facebook page and account should be an open book. If you haven’t already, sit down with your husband tonight and share your account info with each other: usernames, passwords, everything. Then, put away Facebook for a while and talk …

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