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From Susan Merrill

The Blog

Parenting

What Hurts a Mother’s Heart

When my kids were little I made each of them promise that they would never turn six. They all promised and then one by one they all broke that promise on their sixth birthday. They just looked at me with a big, silly grin and a mischievously, innocent twinkle in their eye like they just couldn’t help it. I would act terribly hurt that they refused to stop growing. In my teasing there was truth. You see, when a child turns six you realize the minutes of joy cuddling your child in sweet contentment on your lap are swiftly sifting through the hour glass of time. When a child is small you can hold them on your lap. But soon that child will grow so big he won’t feel comfortable sitting on your lap. Soon that child will become so social she won’t have time to sit on your lap. Soon that child will have too much interest in the world to sit still at all, let alone on your lap. Soon that child won’t be a child, to anyone but you. And your child will resist you pulling them into your lap and you will resist them pulling away. …

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Parenting

5 Secrets to Getting the Most Out of Your Child’s Doctor Visit

I hope your kids will be healthy this year, but odds are that—especially in the months of cold and flu season—you’ll make a least a couple of visits to their doctor. Whether you’re at the pediatrician for a well-child checkup or a sick visit, here are 5 Secrets to Getting the Most out of Your Doctor Visit. Taking your child to the pediatrician can be stressful. We asked several pediatricians what they see in typical visits that parents could correct to make the whole experience less stressful and more beneficial for the child. Here are their suggestions: Download the Sick and Well Visit Worksheets here!

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Parenting

Mom: You Are Not Alone

Author Jill Savage‘s book No More Perfect Moms struck a cord of truth in me. Above are some of the ways I fall short as a mom. When I do, I often succumb to the voice that tries to convince me that I am alone in my faults. It just isn’t true. I am not a perfect mom. But I am not alone in my imperfections. Jill reminds moms that there is no such thing as a perfect mom. And there are no such things as perfect kids, perfect homes, perfect bodies, perfect marriages, or even perfect meals. It is Jill’s goal to help mothers everywhere shelve their desires for perfection along with their insecurities of not measuring up to other moms. Then we will find freedom from disappointment when we embrace our real family, real challenges, and real, but imperfect, life.

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Parenting

How to Control Anger When the Kids Push Your Buttons

I am a faulty human and nobody knows that better than my family. The knowledge my children obtain from their observation of my ways can be used against me–to push my buttons! I wish my buttons weren’t so easily pushed, my moms weren’t. Most of my memories of her are calm, steady, unflappable; except one. She was standing in my room and she was uncharacteristically angry with me about the untidy condition of my belongings. I must have given her some sassy retort because she turned and swept all the junk on my dresser onto the ground as she exited the room. That is the only time I remember pushing my mom’s buttons to the breaking point. It gives me a little comfort knowing my mom was not infallible. However, I confess I am not my mom and get pushed much more by my kids. My hot button would definitely be the red one–not listening. Something about being too busy makes it a touchy one for me. I just don’t have the patience to repeat my words over and over. For example I often ask, “Please put your dishes in the dishwasher.” Then I walk in the kitchen and see …

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Parenting

Ponder What You Can Sacrifice for Your Kids

Who has time to ponder? No one. No one, today, has time to ponder. Well that is not entirely true. It is true that we pack more into a day than ever before in history, but the reality is that we do still have time. I often pitch the complaint to my husband that I just don’t have the time to do something. My husband always swats it right back with “Everyone has time and so do you. You are just not making this a priority for your time.” Ouch. Point being we have time to ponder, we just use that time for other things. Pondering is not a priority. Pondering takes sacrifice–the sacrifice of time, sometimes lots of time. Isn’t that what we want to do for our children – to deeply ponder what they need in life? How would our children benefit if we made the time to really think about their character, their behavior, their struggles, strengths and weaknesses? What if we purposed to dwell on things that deep down caused us to wonder from time to time? Could it help turn a child from destructive behavior? Could it even save a life? We used to …

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Marriage

Confession: My Husband and I Struggle

There is this misconception that I have it made being married to Mr. Family First, Mark Merrill. People love my husband, with good reason. He is all about people and most of all his wife and children. He lives, breathes and eats family as the founder and president of Family First, author of All Pro Dad, speaker, blogger and on and on! However, he is human–a very good sort of human, but human none-the-less. And so I struggle at times to get along with him. I am definitely more human than him, so for every struggle I have listed below I am sure he could list a “counter” struggle that he has with me. The point of this confession is simply this: in our marriage, like the majority of marriages, we have struggles. And it is OK. It doesn’t mean that we made a mistake and married the wrong person. It doesn’t mean that we would be happier with someone else. It doesn’t mean that we need to get a divorce. What it does mean is that we need to struggle to be better at the relationship that we committed to until death do us part. So here are some …

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Parenting

Consequence Calculator: Child Behavior Training Tool

“Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.” But HOW? Every mom has heard the proverb “train up a child.” We know what we are supposed to do but how to do it can be confusing. The uncertainty moms feel about training children with consequences has become a big topic of conversation on 21 Creative Consequences. It just isn’t always clear what to do when a child doesn’t behave. The iMOM team of moms is in the same boat as every other mom–we aren’t confident in our ability to correct behavior. So we created a tool to help every mom–a Consequence Calculator printable! Now our big question is does it help you? Watch, learn, print, and use. Then let us know: Do your feel more confident about your consequence choice? Was the conversation about consequences with your child more objective and meaningful? Is your child learning to change behavior? Why Moms Need to Have Consequences for Correcting Behavior How to use the Consequence Calculator Printable to Correct Behavior Download the printable here:

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Encouragement

2013: The Resolution List

#1 Give Generously Who needs my money more than I do? Inspiration: I Like Car #2 Ruthlessly Prioritize What single thing should I be doing in this moment? Inspiration: Marissa Mayer, CEO Yahoo #3 Comfort, Connect, Cook Make my kitchen a haven for my family, friends, strangers. Inspiration: Jane Delaney, Founder of eMeals #4 Pursue Every Open Door What opportunity has God placed before me? Inspiration: The Cardiac Arrest #5 Rest Work all week; savor Sunday. Inspiration: Fresh Air by Chris Hodges #6 Change All things are possible. Inspiration: God #7 Delight How can I celebrate this day, this moment, this person? Inspiration: My children #8 Trust More, Worry Less He has it all under control. Inspiration: 1 Peter 5:6-7 #9 Love Everyday My one and only. Inspiration: Mark Merrill

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Parenting

5 Ways to Teach Your Child To Communicate

Communication is a skill for life long success. It is not always easy, especially for a child. There are many reasons children struggle to communicate. You can help your child overcome and master communication by recognizing communication struggles and coaching your child through them. See all of iMOM’s Talk: Family Conversation Starters

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